You are doing ok. No, seriously

When I started my small coaching lab, I knew my client base would probably be a bit skewed. To come to a coach, or any supporting professional, a person usually needs a few things. You need enough awareness to notice that something could be better. Enough self-reflection to think that change might be possible. Some courage to try. And a bit of humility to accept support. So overall, not the worst crowd.

Yet many people come with heavy worries. They feel they are falling behind. Their knowledge feels outdated. Everyone else seems to be doing better. AI will replace them if not today, maybe tomorrow.

People in tech worry their whole sector is built on sand, that they are not creating anything real. People in agriculture think no one needs them anymore, because everything is about technology now. Many feel like they are simply not good enough. Like everyone else is Homo sapiens, while they somehow became Homo imperfectus.

One thing I find interesting: about 80% of my clients say, “I’m probably your hardest client.” Statistically, this obviously cannot be true. And yet people sometimes almost expect me to confirm that something is wrong with them. Most of the time, there really isn’t.

What is true is that many things are objectively difficult right now. There is uncertainty. Layoffs. A tough job market. Corporate expectations that are rarely clear or consistent. Being affected by those things is not a personal failure.

But people want a sense of control. So we tell ourselves that if we had done this or that differently, if we were better at X or Y, things would have turned out another way. In reality, we often have much less control than we would like.

“Everyone else is in tech and thriving.” They are not. Many people in tech are just as worried. The landscape has changed a lot in the past few years.

“I should know more than I do.” About what exactly? The list of things to know has never been longer. Nobody is keeping up.

“I’m behind on AI.” Most people are exactly where you are. The few who are not are either building it, or just confidently talking about it on LinkedIn. That is a separate story.

“Everyone else is finding jobs easily.” The job market is genuinely difficult right now, across industries.

It is hard to feel satisfied with your achievements when the bar keeps moving higher and higher. Sometimes the bar is simply impossible. Yet we keep raising it for ourselves.

The honest truth is that every person who has come to my office is doing fine. And everyone reading this is probably doing better than they think.

If today, despite everything happening in the world, you got out of bed, did something for yourself, and maybe even smiled once — you are doing really well, my friend. Otherwise, you are doing ok.

I am proud of you.

You might have stopped believing in unicorns, but they have never stopped believing in you