The myth of a perfect job

Job searching is probably the most requested topic in my coaching practice. And honestly, I get it — the market is rough right now, and I've watched a lot of coaches lean heavily into that demand. I've also changed jobs a lot — across countries, industries, and functions — so I do know how this goes.

And still. This is not necessarily my favourite type of project to work on.

Here's why: there's a persistent myth that somewhere out there exists the perfect job — where everything lines up, every day, for you specifically. And that myth makes the whole process much harder than it needs to be. So let's talk about what's actually going on.

1. We're asking jobs to do things jobs were never designed to do.

Belonging. Purpose. Inspiration. Appreciation. Connection.

Companies love putting these words in all-hands presentations and recruitment videos. And yes, some workplaces genuinely deliver on some of these, some of the time. But most organisations are, at their core, built to make money — and you're hired, largely, for the same purpose. They rarely compromise on that.

The problem is when we treat a job as the primary source of all meaning and self-worth. Putting all your eggs in that one basket is risky in the best of circumstances. And often, those deeper needs — community, purpose, a sense of contribution — are actually more reliably found outside of work: through friendships, volunteering, side projects, creative pursuits. Changing corporations hoping they'll fix this is usually slower and harder than just going outside and finding it directly.

2. People don't always know what they actually want.

They think they do. They want everything — exciting work, great pay, nice people, growth opportunities, flexibility, meaning. And then when you start asking specifics? It gets murkier. What does growth actually look like for you? What would you trade off? What are you not willing to compromise on? Is your understanding of long hours 50 or 80 per week? What is “high salary”? What if we adjust it by cost of living, taxes and pay per hour?

This is real work, and it takes time. Skipping it doesn't make the search faster — it usually makes it longer, because instead of doing it yourself, you figure it out with your interviewer.

3. We fall in love with an illusion, not a reality.

People come to me saying "I want to get into strategy " or "I want to work at a Big Tech " or "I really want to work at Company X." They've read the job ad, seen the LinkedIn posts, checked Blind. They're picturing growth opportunities, good salary, prestige.

And sometimes that's real! But there's always a translation layer. Let me give you a quick decoder:

"Exceptional time management in a complex and largely autonomous work environment" — there won't be much structure, guidance, or anyone checking if you're okay. Figure it out.

"Comfortable with ambiguity" — nobody knows what's happening, including leadership. Bonus points if you can look calm about it.

"Development opportunities" — you'll be handed things nobody else knows how to do either. Congratulations, you're developing.

"We're like a family" — the internet has said everything that needs to be said about this one.

"Long hours" — you already know this one won't just cost you hours. It might cost you friendships, sleep, health, years.

The job ad is marketing. And nobody puts "direction changes constantly" or "you'll be expected to deliver with zero onboarding" in the headline — but that's what some of those elegant phrases quietly mean.

And as for people who look like they have everything… How many people in your actual life are genuinely happy with their jobs and wouldn't quietly trade them for a bakery or a cat sanctuary if the numbers worked out?

Exactly.

4. It's oversold as a formula.

There's a whole niche of coaches (and content, and courses) promising that your dream job is three steps away. And the steps aren't wrong, exactly:

Know what you're good at. Know what you want. Network strategically, be visible, aim high.

This works. Sometimes. For some people. With a fair amount of luck and timing. And almost always with compromise. The promise that this is a guaranteed, repeatable process for everyone? That part is not that easy, what brings me to the last point.

5. It takes a genuinely long time.

I've listened to podcast episodes about people landing their dream job "in two weeks" — and then, if you listen closely, there's always a footnote. The contact they got the job through? They'd been building that relationship for months. The LinkedIn message that worked? They'd sent hundreds versions of it to figure out what landed.

The more specific and demanding your criteria, the longer it takes. And I say this as someone who deeply wishes I could speed it up for my clients — I can support the process, I cannot manufacture market conditions or do the searching for you.

Lately I hear people being more and more open about that, especially when it comes to senior job. The advice is basically “start setting the ground for your next position as soon as you land your current one”. Frankly, I am a bit unsettled by this tendency, but there is weight and truth to that.

I have seen clients find their version of a unicorn job. But it took real work, real honesty about what they actually wanted — and crucially, a willingness to search for "what fits me" rather than "what looks impressive." The result was rarely something everyone would envy from the outside. But it was theirs. And even then, it's not perfect every single day.

And by any means – better jobs exist, good jobs exist. Please never be discouraged to look for better. The goal was never to lower the bar. It's to stop asking your job to be your therapist, your community, and your life's purpose all at once — and go find those things where they actually live.

Unicorn looking for a dream job